It’s going to be a bit of a special mothers day this year for me. It’s my first one as a mum and we have Rob’s Mum staying with us this week. We have already had a lovely few days where Rob’s mum, my mum, Orla and I have just spent time together.
I had dental surgery last week so have been a bit wiped out with it. (I was in an accident four years ago where three of my teeth were knocked out and have been in an ongoing saga since then to get them sorted.) It has been such a blessing to have two mums with me. They are both a massive help and encouragement. It’s funny, I am 28 and a mum myself and still need not just one but two mothers to get through tough weeks! I guess it reminds me that we need many ‘mum’ figures in our life, and we need to be ready to love and care for those who don’t have mums on hand, especially at this time of year.
I am now nearly eight weeks into motherhood and as it is Mothers Day on Sunday I wanted to get down some thoughts/discoveries I have had since January.
To be a mum means…
Getting neck ache from gazing down on your little one at every feed
Wolfing down food at every opportunity and not caring if it has gone cold or is slightly under-cooked, because your baby always wants to eat whenever you eat!
Realizing that you still can’t wear all those pretty dresses that you put away during the pregnancy because you are breastfeeding and so are stuck in your jeans and jumpers for the time being!
Losing all sense of what makes polite conversation as you eagerly discuss labour, burps and baby poo with anyone who will listen.
Surrendering your plans and timescales because babies don’t have watches and don’t care about your schedules.
Adapting to ridiculous sleep patterns. I now drop off much quicker than before, can take naps and feel refreshed after three hours of sleep.
And I guess here is where I am supposed to write that it is the best job in the world and all the pain is worth it to be a mum, but I don’t know if that is really how I feel. I certainly prefer looking after Orla to my day job! But I don’t get a lot of inner excitement at the thought of being a mum. I am not sure that being a mum makes me strong, brave or beautiful, or anything special….
But whenever I think the words ‘my daughter’ everything shifts because ‘my daughter’ is special. My daughter is important; the world now revolves around her. What she needs, she must get and I must provide it for her. When she needs food, I must feed her. When she needs comfort, I must soothe her. When she is older, I must teach her. I must teach her to be hard working, kind and brave.
And I must love her because that is what she needs most of all and what I can’t stop myself from giving her anyway!
And I guess that is what being a mum means to me.